what I do

I've realized lately that its more important for me what I do rather then how I feel. Now I dont feel depression, because I dont care about my feelings. And what to do is for me right now is doing the right things, like saving money, staying healthy, doing what you love and enjoy life. So, I am pretty happy, as I know what to do and can do it.

Maseuse

My maseus refused me. Good riddance. She is too expensive and
unprofessional. I am not gonna do massages any more. Only if my doc
says I need. And he should give me the ones who accept insurance.

nah

Nah. All these cars suck. I've been researching more, and realized that I probably want a good car in which I can relax and sleep, take a nap during work breaks. And after research its going to be either honda fit or scion tC. They both are around 15K. But its OK, because I've realized I dont really need car right now. I need to walk a lot as my doctor says. And if buy a car, then it whould be new and comfortable for naps, like Fit or TC. I plan to save for them and buy one of them someday. But for now I want to concentrate on just saving money for now.

I've been thinking what I really wanna do and realized I want to save enough money to retire. I was moving back and forth between this and other stuffs, but I've been sick for the last 3 days and staying home. Its so noisy here that I dont wanna do anything. All these people say you have to find what you love to do and do it, in order to be happy. I am already doing what I like to do - programming. Another thinf I really wanna do is save enough money to rent a boat in a quiet location and retire there. When I have this freedom to not to work, and quiet peaceful place to live, maybe then I'll realize what I really wanna do. But for now I cannot find out more then just retire ASAP in a quiet location and enjoy the quiet.

After enjoying it, I'll probably program open source software, read books, watch movies, play computer games, compose music. These are the only things that make me happy. But they arent paid for. Thats why I wanna retire ASAP. I am already doing some of them, but still, I dont live where I want and I am not completely free. I hate the feeling of waking up to a alarm clock and having to go to work. I want to wake up when I want and do what I want when I want. And retiring early, renting quiet place and working on open source software appeals to me the most. But I cannot do it in parallel to my real job, as you probably want, because I am too tired after my day job and too depressed with the noise and not having complete freedom to do it. I need to get them in order to really want to do it and have energy for it.

car

Actually, according to this list:

http://www.forbesautos.com/news/headlines/2007/december/fdc121207-best-luxury-cars-for-the-money.htm

Volvo v70 is one of the best luxury cars for the buck. And I found cheap ones for 5K onthe internet

So yay! I will buy Volvo. I am a fan of luxury cars. I'll buy Volvo, then Infinity G35 or M, then lexus ES or IS, because I've spent hours researching the cars and I think Volvo->Infinity and lexus is the best order to buy luxury cars.

Coz see

Coz see, I need minimum 50k/year to be relatively happy and about
extra 20k/year to save for retirement or other expenses, like car.
Right now I earn about 50k. That's why I cannot save anything. Because
being minimally happy now is more important for me then retirement.
Even if I work full 40 hrs/week, I will still be earning not enough
for happiness+savings (60k). U could probably be happy and even save a
little. But I would have to choose car or retirement. I want both. So
that's why I plan to find an extra job. I actually doing it - I am
helping my granny to open her deli store. If it's successful, I could
work there and earn twice as much as now, becase it's planned that
it's going to very profitable and my granny loves me very much. I
could even start a chain of them and become really rich. If it's not
successful, I'll find extra job. Consulting, from home development, or
even some blue collar job. I don't care. As long as it brings extra
10k, so that my 60k of full time job + 10k of extra job equals the
much needed 70k. So yay! I feel like this is a good plan. I'll stick
to it.